The Good Time Children Home For Orphans

Artist: The Andrew Sisters w/ The Good Time Children

LP: Good Time Children
Song: "Don't You Want to Go to Heaven?"
[ listen ]

Once again the pink, claw-like hands reached forth from the inky darkness and feverishly rattled the tambourine, while the bony fingers of the unseen organist stretched across the organ's dingy keys and filled the warm night air with a swelling, mournful vibrato. The youth of The Good Time Children Home For Orphans recognized the signal and immediately began to gather in the clearing. They knew very well that soon the three sisters would unite there to lead a midnight mass at which several of the lucky among them would be chosen to ascend to heaven.

As the youngest of the trio of sisters who own and operate The Good Time Children Orphanage, Patty spends her days involving the children in a routine of trust-building, faith-based activities. With her husky voice, portly frame and cheerful demeanor, Patty puts the orphanage's new arrivals at ease and before long all the children love and depend upon her. They would do anything she asked of them without condition.

Though completely mute, Patty's older sister Maxine is a formidable presence at the Good Time Orphanage, and it is she who is responsible for the children's discipline. By solemnly raising her hands high above her head while rolling back her tongue and closing her eyes, Maxine can render any youngster deaf, dumb, or blind, and once she even made an uncooperative toddler named Snyder McPhearson burst into flames.

LaVerne is the eldest of the three sisters, and the children only ever lay eyes on her when the midnight rituals have reached a fiery crescendo. She appears suddenly in a plume of blue smoke and leads the chosen ones toward heaven with a fervent song. On one rare occasion, The Good Time Children watched and sang in glorious supplication as LaVerne squeezed the soul from the body of a seven-year-old girl using the white scarf that she always wears draped around her neck.

As LaVerne led The Good Time Children into a resplendent chorus, Maxine selected four young girls from the crowd by touching them gently on the lips. It was to be these four who would this very evening be making the ultimate journey.

Eleven-year-old Violet went first. Patty handed her a ten-inch bread knife and guided her hand as she swiftly slid the blade deep into her tender right side, just below the rib cage. Violet continued to dance and sing for several minutes more, then wandered absently into the nearby woods where she collapsed.

Bessie and June came next. The two of them sang of heavenly rewards even as they helped Maxine tie ropes to the large black walnut tree from which their bodies had to be cut down early the next morning.

Finally, little Harriet Kendall danced her way across the clearing and gaily threw herself into the depths of Morgan's Pond, after Patty and Maxine had helped her tie four large stones around her waist.

The breakfast hall was all abuzz the following morning as the remaining kids at The Good Time Children Home For Orphans chattered excitedly about the previous evening's services and eagerly expressed their desire to be the next ones chosen for the final journey home.