Nancy Walker

Artist: Nancy Walker

LP: I Hate Men

Song: "You Irritate Me So"

[ listen ]

Born in Philadelphia in 1922, Nancy Walker was raised in high vaudevillian style by her father, showman Dewey Barto of the comedic dance act Barto & Mann. Nancy made her Broadway debut in "Best Foot Forward" in 1941, and stayed with the show when it became a movie starring Lucille Ball two years later. This provided Walker with her first film role, after which she went on to a five-decade-long career as singer, actress, entertainer, and comedian in stage, television, and film. Most people probably remember Nancy from TV shows like "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and "Rhoda," but those were too sophisticated for me and I wasn't allowed to watch them. I grew up knowing Nancy as the lady with the really strong and absorbent paper towels--"the quicker picker-uppers." Some may also remember Nancy Walker as the director of the spectacular cinematic disco fiasco CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC, though I bet she would probably prefer that you didn't. This man-hating-themed LP was released in 1959, and its cover is reportedly considered to be one of the worst ever made, which of course automatically makes it one of the best. You can read all about Nancy Walker's life and career and see what other movies and shows she appeared in (like this one!) by visiting Wikipedia here.

[ Nancy Walker: May 10, 1922 — March 25, 1992 ]

Belmonte and His Afro-American Music

Artist: Belmonte and His Afro-American Music

LP: 7" single — "Mambo at Midnight"

Song: "Baby Doll Mambo"

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When I was a toddler I had a plastic doll named Nist, and when you squeezed her mid-section, she made a high-pitched squealing noise that sounded like a baby's cry. I remember feeling pretty upset when I found Nist lying alone and naked on a table at the yard sale my mom organized when I was a few years older. But now I realize that Nist needed to move on. She had exciting things she wanted to do with her life—like performing with Belmonte and His Afro-American Latin jazz combo in the smokey underground nightclubs of New York City.

Cabbage Patch Kids

Artist: Cabbage Patch Kids

LP: Cabbage Patch Dreams

Song: "Happy Birthday Hoe-Down"

[ listen ]

One of the lowest points in recorded human history occurred during the holiday season in the mid-1980s, when every child needed to have a Cabbage Patch Kid for Christmas. The dolls were in short supply, so parents (and by that I mean grown-ups) actually got into fist-fights at department stores when there weren't enough dolls to go around. It's hard to imagine anyone fighting to obtain something as repulsive as this—even in the '80s—but one theory asserts that Cabbage Patch Kids were designed to desensitize the public to the appearance of mutated children born in the aftermath of a nuclear war. There's more info on Wikipedia here, where you can read all about the dolls' history and the different varieties of Cabbage Patch Kids that have been produced over the years—including one that devours plastic snacks which then exit the doll's backside where they drop into a backpack. Visit the official Cabbage Patch Kids website here.