Kaye Ballard

Artist: Kaye Ballard

LP: Boo Hoo-Ha Ha

Song: "Nobody's Heart"

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Song: "Little Kid Sister"

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As the flip-floppable cover of her 1961 LP implies, versatile entertainer Kaye Ballard presents two opposing moods on this record—boo-hoo and ha-ha—represented by "Nobody's Heart" and "Little Kid Sister," respectively. Everybody knows Kaye Ballard. Maybe you've seen her on Match Game or The Muppet Show. You might know her from The Mothers-In-Law with Eve Arden, or maybe you remember her early days with Spike Jones. Perhaps you caught her cabaret show, Doin It For Love, which premiered at the historic Paramount Theater in Austin, Texas earlier this year. But, of course, I know Ms. Ballard best as Angie Pallucci, who, with her husband Louie, owned the Italian restaurant downstairs from Doris Martin's San Francisco apartment on The Doris Day Show. You can read about this fantastic lady's life and career on Wikipedia here, and visit her website here to read even more, buy her autobiography and new CD, look at lots of neat Kaye Ballard photos, and a whole lot more! For the legendary and elusive Angie Pallucci Hungarian-Italian stuffed cabbage recipe, click here.

 

 

Hank Fort

Artist: Hank Fort

LP: Hank Fort Sings Her Own Great Songs

Song: "You Can't Hurt Me Now Cause I'm Daid"

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Song: "I Didn't Know the Gun Was Loaded"

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After camping overnight during a thunderstorm at the East Bay State Park on the shores of Lake Erie and then visiting a Merry-Go-Round Museum in Sandusky the following morning, I arrived in the large, beautiful, rusty, and wonderful city of Cleveland in the late afternoon.

 [ Cleveland, OH ]

The first place I stopped was My Mind's Eye Records in Lakewood, on Cleveland's west end. There's no listening station there, but I found some great stuff I was familiar with, along with a few others I was willing to take a chance on based on the covers, since the prices were low. The owner and other folks working at the store were friendly and helpful, and recommended other record stores I should visit in Cleveland.

[ My Mind's Eye Records — Cleveland, OH ]

One of the things I discovered at My Mind's Eye is this 1958 Hank Fort record for which I paid just $2. I really can't say I was taking a chance at that rate—especially when you consider that the record includes songs called "I Didn't Know the Gun Was Loaded" and "You Can't Hurt Me Now Cause I'm Daid," and that they're being sung by a lovely-looking woman named Hank. Born in Nashville, Tennessee before it was the country music capitol of the world, Alma Louise Middleton Hankins Fort wrote more than 400 songs during her career. You can find a nice photo from Life Magazine below where Hank is shown sorting through sheet music copies of "Put Your Shoes On, Lucy," one of her most popular tunes. There's more about Hank Fort here, where you'll learn where you can go to visit her grave, and go to Lonesome Lefty's Scratchy Attic here to listen to more of Hank's songs. Notes and photos from the back of the "Hank Fort Sings Her Own Great Songs" LP are included below.

[ Hank Fort: June 14, 1914 — January 12, 1973 ]

Stan and Doug

Artist: Stan and Doug

LP: Stan and Doug Yust Go Nuts at Christmas

Song: "I Was Santa Claus at the Schoolhouse (For the PTA)"

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Song: "Yingle Bells, Yingle Bells"

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I can't believe it's already December. Here's a funny Christmas record I picked up for .99¢ at a sidewalk sale back in the springtime. I still haven't replaced my stolen camera, so I decided to try taking these pictures with the camera on my cell phone. Aside from sticking my thumb in the photo above, they turned out okay—a sort of blurry, over-saturated set of holiday memories recalled through a haze of rummy eggnog. I can't find much info about Doug Setterberg, but Stan Boreson was born and raised in Everett, WA—just up the street from where I live—and he continues to entertain people in the Seattle area and throughout North America with his humorous Scandinavian-themed tunes. You can read more about this delightful yokester here and find a biography and more songs on the Stan Boreson website here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 [ Stan Boreson on Seattle TV show King's Klubhouse ]

Romanovsky & Phillips

Artist: Romanovsky & Phillips

LP: Trouble In Paradise

Song: "Don't Use Your Penis (For a Brain)"

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One of my 2010 New Year's resolutions is to try to keep from using my penis as a brain. According to my resolution, my member is not to be unleashed in the presence of another person unless both my heart and my brain have filled out some paperwork first—and then there's still a 10-day waiting period after that. I guess it's going pretty well, since I haven't had any "action" in months—but let me tell ya, it hasn't always been easy. Thank god Romanovsky & Phillips wrote this wonderful musical reminder that I can listen to whenever I feel my resolve beginning to weaken. You can read all about the "delightful and entertaining ambassadors of homosexuality" known as Ron Romanovsky and Paul Phillips on Wikipedia here and visit their official website here for a discography, neat pictures and to find out what these guys are up to nowadays. 

Bill Saluga

Artist: Bill Saluga

LP: 7" single
Song: "Dancin' Johnson"
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Hey, has anyone ever seen a dancin' johnson?

The Monks

Artist: The Monks

LP: Suspended Animation

Song: "I Can Do Anything You Like"
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Not to be confused with that other band called The Monks, this one was formed in the late '70s by members of The Strawbs. "Suspended Animation" was their flop 2nd (and last) LP that was evidently released only in Canada back in 1981. This track is one of those early-'80s-comically-offensive songs, in this case highlighting a prospecting phone call made to EMI by the singer of a versatile East Indian band.

Mike, Else and Mari

Artist: Mike, Else and Mari

LP: Scandinavian Smørgåsbord
Song: "Menu In Review (Matvise)"
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Here's one (here are two, actually) for my Grandma Bea [1919-2001] . She was a wonderful, warm Norwegian woman who regularly made delicious lefse for my brother, sister and me when we were kids. I'm also especially grateful to Grandma Bea for not carrying the "horse-teeth" gene that afflicts so many Scandinavians, as can be seen in the photo below.

Artist: Mike, Else and Mari

LP: Scandinavian Smørgåsbord
Song: "Just a Little Lefse"
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Mike and Else gave up the recording studio mic just long enough for little Mari to express her passion for lefse on this nearly unbearable ditty.

All Ears

Artist: Various

LP: All Ears - 10 New and Original Song Hits With a CB Theme
Song: "Hey Shirley (This Is Squirrely)" - Shirley & Squirrely
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If I was a serious country music artist asked to submit one of my CB-related songs for this Radio Shack compilation and then I found out they also included this horrible chipmunk song, I'd be pissed. Of course, as awful as it is, I can't stop listening to it. 

Update from October of 2015: The good news is I've managed to stop listening to it. The bad news is that if I hear one more country star singing about his 'baby' and then opting for a rhyme by reminding listeners that he doesn't mean 'maybe'...well, I'm just likely to hurt someone. I don't mean maybe.

Artist: Various

LP: All Ears - 10 New and Original Song Hits With a CB Theme
Song: "L.J.'s CB Radio" - Oscar Ray
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Here's a better track from the same LP, but I found it helpful to study this glossary of CB Radio terms found on the back of the LP so I could understand all the jokes.