Mormons: A Better Way

LP: A Better Way

Artist: Arliene Nofchissey Williams

Song: "I'm Important After All"
[ listen ]

Artist: Mitch and Winnafred Kalauli

Song: "You Can Do It"
[ listen ]

Artist: Arliene Nofchissey Williams

Song: "If You Truly Love Me"
[ listen ]

This interesting old piece of musical Mormon memorabilia is another one of the things I found while out record-hunting last week. Made by LDS hippies back in 1973, the songs collected here are uplifting and life-affirming while at the same time informing non-Mormons about some of the beliefs and the "better way of life" available to them if they become Latter-Day Saints. The record cover features what I assume is Canandaigua Road, leading up to the hill Cumorah (see notes below) along with two Native American guys and the LDS Provo Temple in the foreground. I've always liked the Provo temple best of all the Mormon temples—and the similar one in Ogden too—because they remind me of the air filters you find in the engines of old cars.

[ Provo Temple ]

[ Ogden Temple ]

[ Air Filter ]

In the song "I'm Important After All," a young woman who's feeling suicidal at bedtime thanks God after waking up in the morning feeling refreshed and full of life. In "You Can Do It," a nerdy and unattractive young man is lured from a tree (don't ask) by a cute female nerd who flatters him with compliments and promises to change his life with a copy of The Book of Mormon. Just like in most other Christian religions, LDS men are often dim-witted, dull, and unattractive, and it's up to the women in their lives to make them feel good-looking, interesting, and smart—even if it means telling lots of little white lies. But if you're not yet married, ladies, be careful not to boost your fella's ego too much, because then he'll try to make you have sex! As we all know, single men are nothing but a bundle of raging and uncontrollable hormones, so it's entirely up to the women to keep their purity intact. Some of the lines Mormon gals often employ to bring things grinding to a halt when their boyfriends start rubbing up against them are offered in the lovely ballad, "If You Truly Love Me." The basic beliefs of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are laid out in the LP liner notes for the songs "A Better Way" and "Canandaigua Road," included below. If anyone wants to learn more about becoming a Latter-Day Saint, just let me know and I'll arrange to have the Mormon missionaries sent over to your home.