Sunday, March 26, 2017

Menudo

Artist: Menudo
LP: 7" single
Song: "Motorcycle Dreamer" 
[ listen ]

I'm clearing the riff-raff out of my record collection again. Obviously. The novelty of Menudo, a Puerto Rican boy band whose members were expelled on their 16th birthday, is hard to resist, I admit. But the music itself is some of the absolute worst you'll probably ever hear. "Motorcycle dreamer, jump on, 1-2-3, come-a riding with meeeeee. Motorcycle dreamer, let's take off and see how it feels to be freeeeee." Ugh. I don't think these kids are even old enough to drive. 

To be honest, it's hard for me to really tell how much of my abhorrence of Menudo stems from their banal lyrics and "Up With People" delivery, and how much is simply due to my resentment that, as a young teen in the early 1980s, I was never invited to join the group.

Artist: Menudo
LP: 7" single
Song: "If You're Not Here (By My Side)" 
[ listen ]

And now, of course, the ballad. Here's a list of some of the insipid rhymes you'll find within: "Why haven't you come to say goodbye / I'm so lost without you I could die." "Don't think I can take it / I know I won't make it." "There's no sense in dreamin' / My life has no meanin'." Ugh.

Artist: Menudo
LP: 7" single
Song: "Like a Cannonball" 
[ listen ]

This track from the movie CANNONBALL RUN 2 is probably the least abysmal of my trio of Menudo singles from 1984. That said, it does include some real zingers: "I gave you a license to drive me up the wall / I look at you and feel the thunder, ooo it hits me like a cannonball."

You can read all about Menudo and their myriad lineup changes on Wikipedia here, where casual reference is made to the 1991 Menudo sex scandal, with no further details provided! I did find details here though, and it's pretty disturbing. Now I almost feel bad about making fun of their terrible music. Almost.

[ Menudo, circa 1984 ]

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